Happiness


Things proven to make you happier...(notes from Nori...)

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude-Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is.  It will make you happier.  It will improve your relationships. It will make you a better person.  Every night before you go to bed write 3 good things that happened to you that day.  jotting those down is pretty much all it takes to get a boost in well-being over time.

There's a second lesson here;  the reverse is true.  keeping track of the bad things will make you miserable.  Do not train your brain to see the negative, teach it to see the positive.

Write thank you notes often telling how much what they have done for you means.

Do what you are good at as often as you can-"signature strengths" are the things you are uniquely good at and using them increases happy thoughts.  Think about the best possible version of yourself and move towards that.  Signature strengths are the secret to experiencing more "flow" at work and in life.

Spend as much time as possible with people you like-  The happiest people are social with strong relationships.  Not spending more time with people we love is something we regret the most.  Being compassionate makes us happier.  Share the best events of your day with loved ones and ask them to do the same.  And compliment them.  But I'm an introvert you say?  A little bit of extraversion here would do you good.  Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness so with the amount of exposure to others well-being scales.

Money is good.  Many other things are better- after about $100,000 a year, money has minimal effects on happiness.  Money is good, but wanting money can be bad.

Give -Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week.  Helping others reach their goals bings joy.  Volunteering makes us happier and can therefore be the most selfless way to be selfish.

Savor - Take time to really enjoy the good things. What are the best ways to savor? 1) Positive mental time travel:  Happy memories or looking forward to something 2) Being present: Not letting your mind wander and being absorbed in the moment.

Savoring is one of the secrets of the happiest people.  focusing on the limited time you have in this life is a good way to remind you to savor what is important.

Strive- You don't usually do what brings you joy, you do what is easy.  Set ambitious goals and strive.  Look at life as growing and learning.

Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy.  You are happier when you are busy and you probably have more fun at work than at home.  Thinking and working can beat sad feelings.  A wandering mind is not a happy mind.  Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term.

Be optimistic, even to the border of delusion- Optimism is key.  People with positive illusions about their relationships are more satisfied, score higher on love and trust and have fewer problems.  Happy people believe that their partner is a little more awesome than they really are.  Someone you think is great who also thinks you're great-is one of the primary things you should look for in a marriage partner.  Thinking happy thoughts, giving hugs and smiling sound like unscientific hippie silliness but they all work.

Fundamentals are fundamental-Cranky?  Before you blame the world, eat something.  Take a nap-it can purge negative emotions and increase happy thoughts.  Sleep is vital because your mood in the mornings affects your mood all day.

Get your sleep.  You cannot get away with cheating yourself on sleep and being tired makes it harder to be happy.

Frequency beats intensity-Lots of little good things is the path to happiness.  You want frequent boosts not rare big stuff.  Don't try and reduce the bad so much as you increase the good.  Stop thinking about big events that might make you thrilled-it's the little things of everyday life that make lasting improvements to our happiness.

Note:  When going to lunch with friends, one person should pay the entire bill, and then the people involved should take turns paying over time.

Avoid life's most common regrets-1) I wish 'd had the courage to live life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2) I wish I didn't work so hard 3) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings 4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends 5) I wish I had let myself be happier!



Notes on Happiness

Find true simplicity
Outer order contributes to inner calm
Clear surfaces
Possessions-camera
Marriage-Love your spouse
Kiss in the morning, kiss at night
Parenthood
Pay more attention
Give warm greetings and farewells
Talk, teach
Body-embrace good smells
Eat half as much, walk twice as much, laugh three times as much, love endlessly
Holiday breakfasts
Plan a nice little surprise
Start early if possible
Less is more
When packing an item that might leak, put it in a plastic bag
Don’t let anyone get too hungry
Cheerfulness is contagious, crabbiness is even more contagious
Wear sunscreen
Carry tissues
Remind kids to visit the bathroom
Get plenty of sleep
There’s joy in routine, but an occasional disruption makes the routine that much sweeter
Make it easy to do right and hard to do wrong
The things that go wrong often make the best memories
When possible, return home on Saturday, and have a day at home before the regular routine starts
Leave plenty of room in the suitcase

Neighborhood



Be a tourist without leaving home
Practice random acts of kindness
Have extra packs of paper towels on hand
Throw away a pen or magic marker as soon as it runs dry
Replace a lightbulb or an empty roll of toilet paper right away
Keep doors and drawers closed
Although it's often easier to hang onto something instead of deciding whether and how to get rid of it, get rid of it now
Keep pens, notepads, and a pair of scissors kitchen and bedroom
Write down anything I need to remember
Keep phone and computer charged
Always put keys in the same place
Keep a stash of cash somewhere
Don’t wait to run out of printer paper before buying more
Create an atmosphere of growth
The days are long, but the years are short
Give meaningful service and inspire
Reach out to friends

Russell M. Nelson:

I learned years ago from President N. Eldon Tanner never to look back. He taught me not to look through the retrospectroscope, and agonize over what I might have done differently.  So, I don't relive the past.  Each hour had it's opportunity, and I either did a good job or I fumbled the ball.  I walk away from the past knowing I gave it the best I had.  Ensign June 1984

Factors

1.  Choice-Happiness is a choice.  Good choices lead to increased happiness
2.  Freedom-Good choices create freedom (good with money, have more options, etc)
3.  Life Satisfaction-what you think, say and do are in harmony with each other
4.  Meaning-see meaning in life
5.  Direction and Purpose-you have a unique mission in life
6.  Spirituality-Internal experience of connection and meaning transcendence 
7.  Live with Passion-thrive (not just survive), compassion, passion, humor
8.  Gratitude
9.  Sense of Awe-nature, beauty, miracles
10.  Truth-Look for what actually is, and not what you think it should be
11.  Receive-Happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued is always just beyond your grasp.  If you sit down quietly, it may align on you.
12.  Health-The healthier you are, the more resilient.  Freedom in just pursuits.  Nutrition, Exercise, Sleep.
13.  Smile and Laugh-Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.  Very powerful when you laugh with friends
14.  Love-The best thing to hold onto in life is each other (Audrey Hepburn).  Connection is important to our happiness.  Faith, hope, charity
15.  Unhappiness-If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering.  Suffering is an eradicable part of life, even as fate and death.  Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete (Viktor Frankl) Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake.  All these things will give thee experience and be for thy good.  We accommodate to adapt.  What stands in the way becomes the way
16.  Grace-Need grace to let go (as in addiction) 2 Corinthians 12 My strength is made perfect in weakness

The Art of Making Memories

Meik Wiking

Harness the power of firsts-seek out novel experiences and make days extraordinary
Make it multi sensory-Go beyond sight.  Memories can also have sounds, scents, touch and taste
Invest attention-Treat your happy moments like you would your date.  Pay attention to them!
Create meaningful moments-Make meaningful moments memorable moments.
Use the emotional highlighter-Get the blood flowing.
Capture peaks and struggles-Milestones are memorable, but the struggle to reach one is unforgettable.
Use stories to stay ahead of the forgetting curve-Do you remember the time we...
Outsource memory-Write, photograph, record.
Once a year, go someplace you've never been before
Make and celebrate more milestones
Save the best for last-end on a high note
Take the long route

50 most common childhood memories

Family holidays
Hide and seek
Collecting shells in the beach
Hopscotch
Sports days
Watching children's TV
Fish and chips
Playground games
Climbing trees
Egg and spoon races
Collecting toys/cards/etc
Ice cream from the ice cream van
Playing outside until dark
Paddling in the sea
Teeth falling out and putting them under the pillow
Fishing for tadpoles in a pond
Playing on a rope swing in the woods
School field trips
Visiting cousins
Going back-to-school shopping at the end of the summer holiday
Getting up really early in the morning to go on vacation
Exploring rock pools
Running around barefoot outside
Sleepovers with friends
School packed lunches
Swimming in the cold ocean
Scratch and sniff stickers
Staying up late for New Year's parties
Going camping
Playing games on long car journeys and playlists!

Don't forget sunlight and exercise-a morning walk does wonders!
Help a living thing thing every day!

And an important note about tears:

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of the earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before—more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
-Charles Dickens, Pip, Great Expectations

There is a sacredness in tears. . . . They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
-Washington Irving






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