Happiness

Things proven to make you happier...(notes from Nori...)

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude-Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is.  It will make you happier.  It will improve your relationships. It will make you a better person.  Every night before you go to bed write 3 good things that happened to you that day.  jotting those down is pretty much all it takes to get a boost in well-being over time.

There's a second lesson here;  the reverse is true.  keeping track of the bad things will make you miserable.  Do not train your brain to see the negative, teach it to see the positive.

Write thank you notes often telling how much what they have done for you means.

Do what you are good at as often as you can-"signature strengths" are the things you are uniquely good at and using them increases happy thoughts.  Think about the best possible version of yourself and move towards that.  Signature strengths are the secret to experiencing more "flow" at work and in life.

Spend as much time as possible with people you like-  The happiest people are social with strong relationships.  Not spending more time with people we love is something we regret the most.  Being compassionate makes us happier.  Share the best events of your day with loved ones and ask them to do the same.  And compliment them.  But I'm an introvert you say?  A little bit of extraversion here would do you good.  Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness so with the amount of exposure to others well-being scales.

Money is good.  Many other things are better- after about $100,000 a year, money has minimal effects on happiness.  Money is good, but wanting money can be bad.

Give -Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week.  Helping others reach their goals bings joy.  Volunteering makes us happier and can therefore be the most selfless way to be selfish.

Savor - Take time to really enjoy the good things. What are the best ways to savor? 1) Positive mental time travel:  Happy memories or looking forward to something 2) Being present: Not letting your mind wander and being absorbed in the moment.

Savoring is one of the secrets of the happiest people.  focusing on the limited time you have in this life is a good way to remind you to savor what is important.

Strive- You don't usually do what brings you joy, you do what is easy.  Set ambitious goals and strive.  Look at life as growing and learning.

Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy.  You are happier when you are busy and you probably have more fun at work than at home.  Thinking and working can beat sad feelings.  A wandering mind is not a happy mind.  Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term.

Be optimistic, even to the border of delusion- Optimism is key.  People with positive illusions about their relationships are more satisfied, score higher on love and trust and have fewer problems.  Happy people believe that their partner is a little more awesome than they really are.  Someone you think is great who also thinks you're great-is one of the primary things you should look for in a marriage partner.  Thinking happy thoughts, giving hugs and smiling sound like unscientific hippie silliness but they all work.

Fundamentals are fundamental-Cranky?  Before you blame the world, eat something.  Take a nap-it can purge negative emotions and increase happy thoughts.  Sleep is vital because your mood in the mornings affects your mood all day.

Get your sleep.  You cannot get away with cheating yourself on sleep and being tired makes it harder to be happy.

Frequency beats intensity-Lots of little good things is the path to happiness.  You want frequent boosts not rare big stuff.  Don't try and reduce the bad so much as you increase the good.  Stop thinking about big events that might make you thrilled-it's the little things of everyday life that make lasting improvements to our happiness.

Note:  When going to lunch with friends, one person should pay the entire bill, and then the people involved should take turns paying over time.

Avoid life's most common regrets-1) I wish 'd had the courage to live life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2) I wish I didn't work so hard 3) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings 4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends 5) I wish I had let myself be happier!



Notes on Happiness

Find true simplicity

Outer order contributes to inner calm

Clear surfaces

Possessions-camera

Marriage-Love your spouse

Kiss in the morning, kiss at night

Parenthood

Pay more attention

Give warm greetings and farewells
Talk, teach

Body-embrace good smells
Eat half as much, walk twice as much, laugh three times as much, love endlessly

Holiday breakfasts

Plan a nice little surprise

Start early if possible

Less is more

When packing an item that might leak, put it in a plastic bag

Don’t let anyone get too hungry

Cheerfulness is contagious, crabbiness is even more contagious

Wear sunscreen

Carry tissues

Remind kids to visit the bathroom

Get plenty of sleep

There’s joy in routine, but an occasional disruption makes the routine that much sweeter

Make it easy to do right and hard to do wrong

The things that go wrong often make the best memories

When possible, return home on Saturday, and have a day at home before the regular routine starts

Leave plenty of room in the suitcase

Neighborhood

Be a tourist without leaving home

Practice random acts of kindness

Have extra packs of paper towels on hand

Throw away a pen or magic marker as soon as it runs dry

Replace a lightbulb or an empty roll of toilet paper right away

Keep doors and drawers closed

Although it's often easier to hang onto something instead of deciding whether and how to get rid of it, get rid of it now

Keep pens, notepads, and a pair of scissors kitchen and bedroom

Write down anything I need to remember

Keep phone and computer charged

Always put keys in the same place

Keep a stash of cash somewhere

Don’t wait to run out of printer paper before buying more

Create an atmosphere of growth

The days are long, but the years are short

Give meaningful service and inspire

Reach out to friends

Russell M. Nelson:

I learned years ago from President N. Eldon Tanner never to look back. He taught me not to look through the retrospectroscope, and agonize over what I might have done differently.  So, I don't relive the past.  Each hour had it's opportunity, and I either did a good job or I fumbled the ball.  I walk away from the past knowing I gave it the best I had.  Ensign June 1984

Factors

1.  Choice-Happiness is a choice.  Good choices lead to increased happiness

2.  Freedom-Good choices create freedom (good with money, have more options, etc)

3.  Life Satisfaction-what you think, say and do are in harmony with each other

4.  Meaning-see meaning in life

5.  Direction and Purpose-you have a unique mission in life

6.  Spirituality-Internal experience of connection and meaning transcendence 

7.  Live with Passion-thrive (not just survive), compassion, passion, humor

8.  Gratitude

9.  Sense of Awe-nature, beauty, miracles

10.  Truth-Look for what actually is, and not what you think it should be

11.  Receive-Happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued is always just beyond your grasp.  If you sit down quietly, it may align on you.

12.  Health-The healthier you are, the more resilient.  Freedom in just pursuits.  Nutrition, Exercise, Sleep.

13.  Smile and Laugh-Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.  Very powerful when you laugh with friends

14.  Love-The best thing to hold onto in life is each other (Audrey Hepburn).  Connection is important to our happiness.  Faith, hope, charity

15.  Unhappiness-If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering.  Suffering is an eradicable part of life, even as fate and death.  Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete (Viktor Frankl) Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake.  All these things will give thee experience and be for thy good.  We accommodate to adapt.  What stands in the way becomes the way

16.  Grace-Need grace to let go (as in addiction) 2 Corinthians 12 My strength is made perfect in weakness

The Art of Making Memories

Meik Wiking

Harness the power of firsts-seek out novel experiences and make days extraordinary

Make it multi sensory-Go beyond sight.  Memories can also have sounds, scents, touch and taste

Invest attention-Treat your happy moments like you would your date.  Pay attention to them!

Create meaningful moments-Make meaningful moments memorable moments.

Use the emotional highlighter-Get the blood flowing.

Capture peaks and struggles-Milestones are memorable, but the struggle to reach one is unforgettable.

Use stories to stay ahead of the forgetting curve-Do you remember the time we...

Outsource memory-Write, photograph, record.

Once a year, go someplace you've never been before

Make and celebrate more milestones

Save the best for last-end on a high note

Take the long route

50 most common childhood memories

Family holidays

Hide and seek

Collecting shells in the beach

Hopscotch

Sports days

Watching children's TV

Fish and chips

Playground games

Climbing trees

Egg and spoon races

Collecting toys/cards/etc

Ice cream from the ice cream van

Playing outside until dark

Paddling in the sea

Teeth falling out and putting them under the pillow

Fishing for tadpoles in a pond

Playing on a rope swing in the woods

School field trips

Visiting cousins

Going back-to-school shopping at the end of the summer holiday

Getting up really early in the morning to go on vacation

Exploring rock pools

Running around barefoot outside

Sleepovers with friends

School packed lunches

Swimming in the cold ocean

Scratch and sniff stickers

Staying up late for New Year's parties

Going camping

Playing games on long car journeys and playlists!

Don't forget sunlight and exercise-a morning walk does wonders!

Help a living thing every day!

And an important note about tears:

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of the earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before—more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
-Charles Dickens, Pip, Great Expectations

There is a sacredness in tears. . . . They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
-Washington Irving

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/january-29-2026

Work is endless, Exercise is endless, parenting is endless same with marriage, writing, investing, creating and more.  You get to choose the parts of your life, but many of the important things in life cannot be "finished."

Do not approach an endless game with a "finite" mindset.  The objective is not to be done, but to settle into a daily lifestyle you can sustain and that allows you to make daily progress on areas that matter.

Embrace the fact that life is continual and look for ways to enjoy the daily practice.